how far out are you man? i'm pretty far out! that's pretty far out man!

oh there are so many Things to Say.

thank you for all the nice Things that everyone has Said about the empire and our aria adventures. i am excited to have a pointy award for producering (to share with hobobro) and not just musicing. it is nice to try something totally different to what we got famous for in the first place and have people still like it, since it is in my experience that people really hate change. then again, like i read on the alfie-laine.net forums, at least i am not trying to act. seriously guys i can't act i'm fucking terrible why would i ever do that. the only reason i am in the credits of he's just not that into you is because i acted in the way that I NEVER HAD TO BE ON CAMERA. anyway, thanks for buying tons of the poker face single because it sounds DIRTY.

i really missed being on hamish and andy for pants off friday. doing a radio show in your boxers is kinda of awesome you guys.

also thank you for Saying nice Things about the new album. i went into the music emporium closest to our house in LA and bought 50 copies. not even lying. it was really weird walking into a store that had my face all over the walls and buying my own album. the girl at the counter looked terrified. i'm sorry, angela. (it said that on your name badge i'm not creepy. it is a nice name!)

as i am sure everyone knows the resistour is beginning on the 4th of december, just a week awaaaay. we'll be flying into the uk early to get the kids settled. i am not sure if i'm looking forward to touring with three kids or not. i mean, i could tour with jarrod for months, he is a chill dude. it is anita griffin and katie laine i am worried about. they are some sassy midgets, you guys. it terrifies me every single day. so badly, in fact, that when i turned around and katie was standing up hanging onto the coffee table for dear life, going ^_^ at me, i may have overreacted slightly and yelled out for jules to come and see how his daughter was RUINING MY LIFE BY GROWING UP. STOP IT. then i took pictures for an hour. then i took pictures of jarrod for an hour. and then both together. and then i took pictures of clover & bowser because boo wouldn't come near me. at least we have our epic childcare provider luke hagen. and before anybody asks because i know everyone will I KNEW LUKE BEFORE KHERI KNEW BECKY. WE ARE BROS.

a Thing To Know: please stop emailing hot rod about single releases and videos because he gets very crotchety when his email inbox is over 500. nobody likes grumpy hot rod. the new single will be undisclosed desires. yes it is a sexy song about my husband and please can nobody say nasty things about it on the internet, because that makes me sad.

if you will excuse me, internets, i have to go stop my father from forcing my 9 month old daughter to hold a rock band microphone with my 6 month old son holding rock band drum sticks and my 2 month old nephew laying next to a plastic guitar hero controller, for photos he can default on facebook.

these are clues.

hello. the goddamn rock solid dazzlemazing tour: you already know about it, and when it is. the home leg, with obvious spaces between its teeth, i'll admit. dr. soundwave will fill them up with secrets.

where did the sun go.

tour is happening sooner than expected. rejoice, all.
appearances begin at the end of may, and from there it's not long to wait til announcement.
i've moved to 21 acres in the adelaide hills.
there's emus and horses and beagles, oh my.
it isn't the 131,000 i grew up on, but i don't mind,
because i just want my life back.
my hands are shaking.
i can't remember if i ate today, but i'm pretty sure i had sushi for lunch.
and that makes me miss my family.
i miss my little brothers.
i miss my big brother.
all my sisters are older than me, and i miss them, but i will see you of the very blue eyes and stupid nicknames soon.
i am almost scared to sleep in my new bedroom, it's too fancy.
i think i will drive the 20 minutes to the city and get sushi. that will be good.

i'm sorry i'm bad i'm sorry i'm blue

i'm so sorry to everybody waiting for the UK tour. you've all probably heard the news that our motherland visit has been indefinitely postponed. you can be angry at us, i don't mind, we deserve it for the last-minute cancellation. if anything, be mad at me because i love my sister more than i love my job. we are definitely rescheduling to fit the UK into a proper, big tour. more dates, better show. that is a promise, and you may fire your linoleum crossbow into my head if ever you feel like i broke it.

mac mac l'oreal yep cause we're worth it

Dear UK tour persons:

August and I have created a monster. Each show will get something different. Something very special, and possibly incredibly embarrassing, just for you. PLEASE YOUTUBE IT AND SEND ME THE LINKS, GUYS. These chips are fucking fantastic (Smiths crinkle cut, the works).

i thought i could hear somebody call out my name as it started to rain

on the scale of awkwardness: running into people you forgot you knew and still hate?
wow, awkward.

things to know about me: It is okay to come up and talk to me if you see me wandering around, unless you are a maneating succubus and/or have no soul.

I am not looking forward to this week. Tour will be a good distraction. I might have some family with me. There might be a really hilarious moment in the show where we sing a song you would not expect us to know (well, you'd expect ME to know it). Prepare accordingly.

prepare for the soft rock stars

Good morning, internets. It is one more sleepless night in a row of many and it is not any more productive than the others. We are going on a minitour soon to promote BH&R, I hope you are as stoked to hear things from the new album as we are to play them for you - for comparison, we are pretty fucking stoked. I have dates for you (not the fruit):

5th April Manchester Evening News Arena
7th April Cardiff International Arena
9th April Birmingham NEC
12th April Nottingham Arena
13th April Sheffield Arena
14th April Newcastle Metro Radio Arena
16th April Wembley Arena
17th April Wembley Arena

Finally, my dream of being in an arena rock hair band is fulfilled. THIS DESERVES A SMILEY ^_^.

For everybody in Sydney that reads up on my sister's blog, March 15 (so... tonight, basically) is a date of epic win. There will be a Laine party, and sweet music from Sneaky Pete (keep an eye on your drinking... and drinks. Sneaky Pete is one sneaky motherfucker, or should I say motherfuckers?). Transform and roll out.